Essays
No Picking
If you have been in a car these days in or around a big city you have seen the ever escalating adventure. And I am not talking about drivers on Mobile phones.
Mobile phones and driving are a scary enough mix, but one feels that even in a freak out moment as your car barrels directly toward a child/tree/gopher that at least there is a remote chance that your non phone finger on the wheel will allow you to divert at the last minute mitigating the damage done to a middle finger in your rearview mirror.
Today though, a much different and dangerous predator lurks behind the wheel of 2 ton SUVs, BMWs and other usually large and exotic car makes on your local commute.
The “Blackberry picker.”
Don’t know what it is? Well assuming you are very unplugged or don’t live in a big city, the Blackberry is that wonderful device that keeps you tethered to your desk at work like nothing before it and the “picker” is the person that over indulges it. Like children run amuck in a toy store, adults and the Blackberry usually make a mess. Yes, the Blackberry is a wonder that keeps you productive and streamlined but it is also the weapon of choice among your peers for office coups, power plays, land grabs and assorted office requests in the corporate world game of Chutes and Ladders. As such quick peeks at it can seem a very addictive way to stay on top of everything.
You see, the Blackberry (or treo or whatever your weapon of choice) in the hands of the wrong “up and comer” with a machelevellian penchant can be a WMD on your career keeping you ever paranoid and checking email. This time saver called the Blackberry ends up creating work and stress. Why? Because emails can be sent by coworkers at all hours of the day and night sending you the hard working ladder climber on all sorts of crazy mental tangents as you peek looks at the screen and mutter responses during dinner with family and sneak into bathrooms to read email when peeking under the table just wont do. The emails that itch most usually come at odd non office hours (weekends, vacations, early or late nights) You try to read between the lines on a tiny screen, trying to ascertain who has and has not been cc’c or Bcc’d, all the while trying to craft responses that are clear enough to keep your thin hold on power and influence but not clear enough to get you in trouble with the SEC/your boss/HR. But if this sounds like you that’s your problem.
It becomes our problem and the fun really starts as many try to keep their careers afloat through the Blackberry while driving to and from work. These Blackberry Pickers find that driving is the perfect time to email as you have a nights worth of accumulated emails waiting for you in the morning as you drive in and a days worth of ignored emails waiting for you as you drive home. And what better time to carefully craft important one handed emails as you navigate the snarl of traffic in an insulated 2 ton goliath in whatever city you call home. Many have fallen for this trap, as what better way to stay ahead of the game then to get “caught up” during your commute while you are driving.
Which brings me to the point of the new and growing danger on our roads. The “Blackberry bender.” This is when you the picker have either hit the car in front of you as you crawl through traffic or been hit by the car in back of you. To say nothing of those that go completely off the road as they try to navigate their navigator with their right knee while furiously typing away with fat fingers on a keyboard built for a skinny girl.
This is truly the recipe for disaster. Your career, a tiny screen, tinier buttons, traffic, elements, and other cars. Do the math. You have if not been directly involved in a “blackberry bender” with a Picker surely have seen the makings of one.
Usually you can see Pickers brewing in greatest abundance on holiday weekends or Friday’s on a route to a beach, mountain or other local attraction that the whole city races too at seemingly the same time. This is called a Blackberry Patch. Often, Pickers have snuck out of work a bit early to get a head start on the drive but thereby increasing their paranoia about what and more importantly who they left at the office that is no doubt now trying to undermine their authority or reputation.
Where I live, Pickers and “Blackberry benders” are almost a sport especially on a summer Friday on the LIE as everyone jockeys for position on the same miserable stretch of Highway heading to the Hamptons. I am sure you know a “Blackberry Patch” near you.
Next time you are at dinner or in traffic avoid the gnawing urge to read and Pick the Blackberry because once you do it will be almost impossible to not write a quick poorly written note back to an email. This usually leads to more quick responses taking your eyes off the road of your career and the one in front of you.
Do us all a favor. Don’t Pick
Beware the Blackberry.
